“Everyone you
meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” This might
be a simple quote by Ian McLaren. But, is it? In life, we all have different
circumstances, experiences, and expectations. Sometimes, things turn out the
way we didn’t expect. And, worst things happen even to the best people for no
apparent reason. What’s important though is to learn from every experience,
circumstance, and an unexpected outcome.
So,
allow me to dive deeper into the lessons that life has taught me, the hard way:
Never
Hold onto Rigid Expectations
Once you stop expecting or predicting things to turn
out in certain ways, you start appreciating whatever their outcomes are. Basically,
the greatest gifts in life are not wrapped in the most obvious or expected
ways. Open mindedness and positive attitude have taught me that life isn’t
harder or easier than thought. Only that “the hard” and “the easy” are not
exactly as anticipated and they usually don’t occur when expected. Basically,
this makes life exciting.
The question that we need to ask in whatever situation
we find ourselves in is, will we embrace the experience or lesson and grow or
will we fight it and eventually fade? Just like I had to accept a breakup with
my ex and move on, I have learnt to accept that not all things are meant to be.
So, when things fail to turn out as I expected, I face the fact that I was wrong
about them all along. Thus, it was simply an illusion and not what I thought. More
often, this is usually not an easy realization to accept or live with.
Unexpected
Hardships are Helpful and Inevitable
Harvey Mackay said, “Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely
be worth it”. And, trust me- life
will blindside and hit you harder than anybody or anything else in the world. At
times, life will hit you where it hurts the most. But, the question is, do you
stop, whine and try to draw attention, or keep moving forward as you get hit?
When there is so much to complain and cry about but
you decide to smile and make a forward movement instead, you grow stronger. In
fact, some of the best moments in my life have been celebrating achievements
that I’ve made after working through hardships and struggles. But, sometimes it
feels like everything is falling apart when that’s not actually the case. So,
it’s usually whether you control your emotions or they control you. And, once
you control your emotions, everything else eventually falls into place.
Pursuing
Happiness Means Finding Meaning
Pursuing happiness is completely different from
being happy. But, as long as the sun shines, try to bask in it by every mean.
Happy moments are fun-filled and great. Unfortunately, they pass just like time.
On the other hand, pursuing happiness is a lifelong affair because happiness is
elusive and not based on specific outcomes. What we actually pursue is the
meaning of life and leading a meaningful one. And, all starts with “why”.
Why
do we do what we do in life?
If the “why” has a meaning, you are definitely
pursuing happiness. However, sometimes things go wrong and make you feel barely
alive. And sometimes you realize that when you are barely alive you feel better
as long as it’s on your terms than when you lead a lifeless existence on
someone else’s terms. Pursuit of happiness has ups and downs but there are
worthwhile lessons to learn along the way. Simply put, happiness will come
easily once you know what you do, why you do it, believe in it, and love it
regardless of the outcome or opinions of others. And, in all the confusions of
life, strive to be happy because you don’t know the amount of time you have
left in this world.
Never
Judge Others
We always think that we are sharp at understanding
people, what they do, and why they do it. Unfortunately, we are mostly wrong. A
co-worker comes late or takes a long lunch break leaving you to do more tasks alone.
A person may hurt your feelings or behaves selfishly towards you. In either
case, you feel bad about such behaviors. But, picture this- You’re walking in
the woods when you come across a small cute dog that looks friendly from a
distance. On approaching the pet, it suddenly snarls and attempts to bite you.
Does the pet still look cute? You most likely answered no because the pet
instills fear and even anger in you. But, once the wind blows and clears leaves
from the surrounding ground, you realize that one leg of the pet is caught up
in a trap. Naturally, you feel sorry for the pet and realize why it became aggressive
towards you.
Same things happen to humans. Therefore, never judge
a person without understanding their predicament first. Personally, I wish that
those around me could learn to see people in their real light. See people
without bias and for who they truly are.
Never
Seek Validation from Fellow Humans
Sometimes, we fear rejection or the opinions of others
such that we fail to take positive actions when necessary. But, life has taught
me that the only person I need to be better than is the person I was yesterday.
I should prove myself to myself- not others. Basically, every human is already
valuable. Thus, there is no need for validation by others.
We naturally feel great when we get positive
feedback. However, this doesn’t happen all the time. And, when positive
feedback doesn’t, that shouldn’t be a problem. As long as we know where we are
going and what we want to accomplish, opinions of others don’t count. Once you
decide to make a difference in your life and lives of your loved ones, there
will be naysayers, doubters, and skeptics. Some will reject your efforts and
ideas while others will ignore you or try to discourage you. Whatever the case,
just step forward confidently, focus beyond them, and do what you have to.
Regrets
Hurt than Fears
If you fear loss, you will never achieve anything. That’s
because it’s only by taking the risk to lose that you open the door to a
possibility of winning. The risk can be participating in a marathon, starting a
venture away from home, or even quitting a job to start a business. Some
endeavors are quite terrifying and they involve sacrifice, struggle, and risk. But,
the question to ask when considering such endeavors is, are the fears stronger
than the fear of leading a wasted, meaningless life?
Anybody that has never been called crazy or lost
their mind has never followed their heart. And, what makes the difference
between “I can’t believe I had the guts
to do that” and “I wish I did that”
is what you do now. Time is essential and letting it pass is like waving a
train that you desperately want to board bye. So, act now and avoid spending
your life wondering why you didn’t do what you have a chance to do now.
Parting
Short
Life has taught me to live by what Mahatma Gandhi
said, “Live as if you were to die
tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Every day is a precious
gift, a chance to live, learn, and grow. I’m a life’s student. I indulge in
life and absorb all knowledge that life brings my way. Sometimes, I lose
certain things to gain others or learn some lessons the hard way. And that’s
okay with me. After all, hardships are helpful and necessary. But all in all, I
strive to be happy, live life to the fullest, and leave something behind for my
daughters and sons.
Oh, one more thing. I’ve learnt and come to love
country music- Three Wooden Crosses
by Randy Travis in particular. Perhaps, that’s a sign that I’m growing old
faster than I thought.
About
the Author
